Inward reflection is one of the most daunting propositions; the thing you'll find could be dark, a manifestation of your evil side; it could be pathological, a harbinger of depression, psychotic manipulation or a ravenous narcissism; or it could simply be something nebulous, an unexplainable blur waiting in the chaotic networking of your brain, sitting on an untapped nerve ending that has yet to be provoked...and once it is, Lord knows what will happen, what you'll become.
This my friends is why I haven 't blogged in a few day or written in my book, developed my characters. It has been a struggle to write the simple restaurant overview that my editor needs me to pen for the August issue. It's days like these that I wish I were smart enough to be a mathematician or a biologist. I was chatting with a co-worker today whose husband works at a nuclear plant--his specialty is foam. Yes foam. Supposedly whatever you want to know about foam, just ask this guy. "He could write about foam all day long,"she laughed. He knows it intimately, its properties, its likes and dislikes, its uses, its importance, its role in an ever evolving technological whirlpool.
Sometimes I think the black and white nature of science--of everything from number to foam--is what makes working with it easier than working with a blank canvas or a loosely developed novel. You don't fret for hours on end about whether a certain word, color, sentence or design concept will evoke a certain feeling in enough people. You just get the facts down and you delight not in the subjective details but in the fact that it's right.
I just noticed that I'm wearing solely black and white today. A subliminal cry for direction, clarity, organization, relief from the chaotic networking in my brain.
image courtesy of http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2160/2034196282_c516b9d2a6.jpg
Monica, I hear you.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is an engineer and a very practical person. His hobby in his spare time is writing software for emergency communications; he's so good at it, he even makes money with his hobby.
(Geez, I find it hard enough to make money at writing as a *career* much less a hobby - LOL!)
Sometimes his logic is just what I need to get the other side of the picture (from my usual domain of emotionality and creativity) but sometimes that factual thinking--and being able to debunk things that seem whimsical to me--makes me want to scream.
I hope your subliminal cries resolve themselves and you find the clarity you're craving. By the way, your blog header is positively gorgeous :~)